When the Elevator Tries to Bring You Down
Punch a higher floor.
Forgive the Prince reference but it’s been stuck in my head for days and just feels right.
For some time now, I have been battling chronic debilitating symptoms that increased after I got COVID in 2020. While I’ve had chronic conditions like fibromyalgia and migraines since my teens, they were mostly manageable. A migraine would keep me down for about three days, which was frustrating but doable.
Post-COVID, the conditions I had as a teen have intensified. Migraines can knock me down for 7-10 days, for example. The virus whipped my autoimmune and nervous systems into a frenzy. Any predisposition I had, COVID pushed it over the edge and into full-blown disease.
For example, I had mild arthritis in my hands and feet. Post-COVID, I have systemic lupus with arthritis that affects every joint in my body from my neck to shoulders to hips to toes. That, among other symptoms, makes it difficult to write or type. Nowadays, if I stare at a screen too long, I get nauseated. At last count, it is taking me 4 days to write this newsletter.
Although I have a million stories to tell about my experiences on this subject, I’m not here for that today.
Today I am announcing that I’m taking a hiatus to heal and regroup.
Since COVID, I have had a lot of time to think. There were some epiphanies for sure, but the major theme that keeps coming up is this: The old mold no longer fits.
Much like how my peri-menopausal body no longer squeezes into my trusty pair of well-worn jeans, everything else in my life feels constrained. I just don’t feel like I fit the skin I was once in.
It’s no secret that the world is also changing. A lot is going on in America and abroad. We are facing unprecedented challenges as a society, a nation, and a human race. I want to address that but I’m just not sure how, yet.
Because of all this, it has been difficult to write to you in the same way without sounding inauthentic. Most of the time, I am just trying to stay sane and afloat.
No worries, though. I have no intention of giving up writing. I may, however, change things up, so I want you to be ready for that. But first, I’m taking the rest of the summer off.
In case I haven’t told you lately, thank you from the bottom of my heart for being a valued part of my community and for your unwavering support.
Have a great summer and stay cool! 😎